Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Beyon-say ''No'' to Beyonce's new Target Album....

Seriously, in no way am I a great judge of music. I can't honestly even say I know what I'm listening to half the time. However, I can tell you two things - First, I am a HUGE Beyonce fan. Second, mama didn't raise no fool and I know perfectly well when I am being lyrically accosted.


Personally, I think Beyonce is super-duper fly. If I could be anyone else in the world I would be her. Actually, she's a close second....the obvious choice being Charo. But, no one can be Charo but Charo, so it's a mute point. Back to Beyonce.
















Anyway, I am totally in love with her and so was naturally drawn in to the weird, vague commercials pounding network televion wherin she is pimping her new album only being sold at Target. I was running low on Archer Farms goods anyway so off to Target I go.




SUCCESS! I don't even have to search. The new album is situated right beside the $5 DVD rack at checkout so I grabbed it. I also snatched up "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" because....well, why not. I get back to the CR-V and I am so stoked to rip into this new CD and fist pump all the way home that I'm not even upset when I realize I already bought "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and it was absolutely horrible.


I put my new CD in, got ready to get my neck poppin' ....and for the next 42 minutes my ear holes were beaten to death with sound. The best way for me to describe this completely unjustified flogging is this:




Imagine Phil Collins and Earth, Wind & Fire meeting up in an abandoned office building somewhere with low ceilings and really gross fluorescent lighting. Do you smell it? They decide to collaborate a mish-mash of the most incredibly un-natural sound ever and get Bel Biv Devoe to produce it. They pass along this disaster to Beyonce who clearly didn't listen to any of it before recording it and trying to ryhme words like "one" and "world" by just pronouncing them differently. Ugh!



I still heart Beyonce and guess the positive is her next album can only be better. Unless....you don't think Men Without Hats is still in the game do you?







http://www.arleebee.com/

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